I once read a bit of marriage advice that said, don’t complain to your parents about your spouse – instead complain to their parents.
The idea is that their own parents will love them unconditionally and your parents will hold a grudge long after you’ve forgiven them for whatever the complaint was.
I get it.
It’s not bad advice. But how many really have that sort of relationship with the in-laws that you’d be comfortable enough to vent?
It’s not a safe practice to go around belittling your spouse or complaining to anyone but there will be times to vent; to seek advice and perspective.
So who do we turn to?
Someone who believes in marriage as much as you do.
And I’m going to assume if you’re married you see it as an unending covenant.
If you’re complaining to your girlfriend about feeling ignored while your husband is consumed with video games and she tells you, you deserve better than him – she’s not the one.
If you’re venting to your buddy that your wife isn’t keeping up with your sex drive and he tells you, you should have never gotten tied down – he’s not the one.
Find the ones who will speak life into your marriage.
Find people who can commiserate but also encourage.
In my own experience I can say, in the moment it’s not usually satisfying.
Sometimes I just want to complain, I want to feel justified and feel like someone else is ‘on my side’ …
When I’m redirected back to finding a resolution, compromise or just encouraged it doesn’t immediately feel like they’re on my side.
But truly they are.
They advocate for my marriage even when I don’t want to.
Find those people.
And be that person.
For a deeper dive into this topic listen to the episode Who Speaks into Your Marriage by The Naked Marriage podcast.
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